It’s been a long journey in two years. I’ve found my way and ended up lost as well. At this point I know where I stand while the ground is shaking. 

I reached success in my physical training. I became an amateur bodybuilder. I had muscle and curves and lines. I was healthy. I walked on stage and did my first competition. It was something I’ll never forget. The hours I put in, the dedication, the sweat, tears, and the sacrifice was worth it. Hell, I even had a six pack as a bonus.  I had so much driving force behind me that I couldn’t stop. To be honest I don’t want to stop. There’s something sexy and confident about myself now that I never had before. I had achieved personal success.  One word to describe it all?  Happiness. I had achieved it.

Now?  Now I sit and I do as much as I can within my means. There’s little I can do. I tore the artery in my neck at ninety percent. Yes, I almost died, but let’s look at the positive. I’ve gained perspective, insight, patience, and a 100% understanding that you shouldn’t settle for anything in life. Never. It’s a blessing to be a live and I’m able to learn this lesson. In lucky. I’ll heal in time and I can achieve the same success once more time. I must continue with the patience.

Never settling for me means chasing your dreams even at the ripe age of 31. I’m going to do just that when I heal. Now for my friends who live far away and are reading this, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I never told you of my condition. Honestly, it’s hard to discuss a near death experience, but now you know. To be honest not one person visited me in the hospital including family. Yes I told them. They said they had things to do. I suppose that’s their loss then, yes? 

I’m a little bitter with family. I have been for over 5 years. Its a festering cancer that I wish upon no one.

On the positive side of all of this?  I’m exactly where I should be, with whom I should be with, and understand it with clarity.  Watch me succeed!