Some days I wonder if it’s possible to be so happy.  I’m walking on cloud nine most days and thinking of mom has gotten easier.  I never thought I’d see the day for either.    I’ve never been so scared, happy, and excited all in one.  Most days lately are spent killing zombies together, playing guitar hero, or lounging about watching a movie.  He’s pretty damn awesome.  He’s an alpha for sure, a mechanic, confident, stands for what he believes in, smart, goofy with wit, stubborn, and can be a bit cocky.  Did I mention that he’s hot?  haha yeah that might be an understatement ladies.  I’m one lucky woman and I am counting my blessings.

I’m waiting for school to start back up but it won’t be long now.  I’m not sure how it will be but hell I know I can do it.  We’re talking about April here.  I’m a smart cookie.  Stubborn but smart.  I’ll probably go over all my notes a few days before school to get my brain wheeling in the right path.  It always helps to go over what you’ve learned.  I sometimes tend to forget the simplest of things I’ve learned.

Two days ago something happened that I just couldn’t…believe happened.  My cousin called me.  I haven’t heard from him in so long.  I almost cried when I saw him calling me and my heart did leaps when he invited me for Thanksgiving and/or Christmas.  My family is rough around the edges and if you don’t follow the path of what your elders want out of you, they tend to put their noses in the air, refusing to see you for you.  The thing is, him and I were two peas in a pod back in the day as kids.  We would play in the mud, swim in the fishing hole out back behind his house, and pretty much do all the boy things.  I could keep up just fine.  Him and I were a lot more independent which of course wasn’t the way the adults wanted us.  Him and I had it rough from the parents.  Always had.  He went one direction and I the other, ignoring the family almost entirely.   We both wanted the same things.  To be respected, to be seen as who we were, not what they wanted.  I love him like he was my own brother.  He’s married now.  I couldn’t be happier for him.  He’s hit a path in his life that truly makes him happy and I’m behind him 100%.   It’s been almost 6 years, I believe, since I’ve seen him.  Thanksgiving can’t get here fast enough.  Hell, I want to meet the lady that makes him happy.  I wonder if he’d give the “man talk” to my man?  haha  Knowing him, he probably would.  He’s always been protective.  I love you and I can’t wait to see you!

The other day, my best friend Chelsea and I went to Starbucks.  I didn’t want anything but Chels did so I went with her plus Barnes n Nobles is hooked to it and I wanted a book.  I always want a book.  What’s new?  Anyway, we’re greeted and right away I wanted to slap the person behind the counter.  “Hello girls.  What can I get you girls today?”  whoa! whoa! whoa!  “girls”?  Look, I know I look young.  I’ve been asked if I’m even 18.  I’m blessed and I know it but couldn’t of you at least said “ladies”?  I’m almost hitting my 30’s here and the last thing I want to be called is a girl.  I’m a woman for crying out loud!!  I knew Chelsea thought the same thing right away because we both looked at each other at the same time with the same look.  It’s a woman thing I guess.  I’m grumbling and she’s laughing.  People behind us are looking at us strangely.  I walk away grumbling.  She’s still laughing.  You want to ruffle my feathers?  Go ahead, call me a girl.  A girl!  Please!  I’m a woman.  A full blown mature woman with all the assets to prove it.   Sigh.  Although I never want to look my age so I can’t complain fully.